| LOL
so i got offered the fellowship position i wanted! yay!
and i was telling my mom
and she was all... yada yada yada P-T-L yada yada
and i was like,  what is PTL?
and she was all, praise the Lord... duh! (ok, she didn't say duh, but it was implied)
and i was like, oh 
hmm. she randomly acquires these english phrases, idioms, jokes, and (i guess now) acronyms
once she told our family she had this patient that was "2 fries short of a happy meal"
another time she asked us if we like seafood, opened her mouth containing unswallowed food, and said "see! food!"
aigo.
who's teaching my immigrant mother with flawed english this stuff?!?!?
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| kettle corn = popcorn + oil + salt + sugar
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A FRIEND IN A HIGH PLACE
so i went to a fellowship interview and took southwest
my thoughts as we were taking off:
- feel like we're cattle. moo.
- no movie???
- nice chairs. squishy
- remember how sooj once had to respond to a medical urgency on a plane? wonder if that'll ever happen to me. wonder if pathologists, radiologists, or psychiatrists ever help out. wonder what kind of supplies they have on the plane...
- really? no movie??? this sucks.
so about an 1 hr later i hear the stewardess say, "is there a doctor on the plane?..."
i turn around, and there are 3 flight attendants in the back, looking concerned.
again, "is anyone a doctor? any medical personnel on the plane?"
so i get up and start walking back. no one else gets up.
hmm. so weird
"thank goodness! are you a nurse?"
ugh. really?!? i looked at what i was wearing. a top and shorts. doctors can wear shorts too!
"actually, i'm a surgeon."
"oh, sorry, doctor. thank you for helping us"
so it's some young, scrawny guy who looks kinda floppy and pale
they said his eyes had rolled back and he had a "seizure"
whatever. probably parted the night before, +/_ drugs, woke up, and ran to the airport without eating anything.
just looks dehydrated, hypoglycemic, and his electrolytes are probably slightly deranged.
so i asked him all the magical medical questions, got his vitals, gave him juice and cookies, and started digging through the goodie bag
hmm... lido, epi, IVF, oral airway, etc
i wanted to start an IV, but he was scared of needles. (surprise! a young guy scared of needles!  )
meanwhile one of the stewardesses was on some phone thingie, giving a play-by-play to someone
"the doctor is taking his blood pressure"
"the doctor-who-looks-like-a-nurse is asking for juice"
"the doctor-who-looks-like-a-nurse-because-she-looks-so-young-and-pretty-and-charming is giving him juice"
"the doctor-who-noone-ever-guesses-is-a-surgeon is thinking about starting an IV"
at some point they asked if i thought the plane needed to be landed
i said, "no."
i told him to eat and drink more stuff, said i'd check on him in half an hour, and threatened to start an IV if he didn't feel better
he was fine.
the staff was very appreciative and was very attentive the rest of the flight, but too bad it was southwest... not many ways you can treat someone special on southwest.
would you like a slightly squishier chair, it'd be a middle seat though?
more diet coke?
more wheat thins?
an extra copy of sky mall magazine?
would you like us to act out a play since you are probably bored because we don't believe in movies?
and the required gay flight attendant kept calling me doctor. over and over and over and over...
(he eventually confessed it gave him tingles saying it. "i just lurve saying doctor")
they made me write down my info
introduced me to the captain as i was leaving
and that was it
the end.
V (o_o) V
supa stahhhh!!!
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| I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU! so the ER nurses told me a story last night recently a psych patient told a fellow patient that he had to give him a check up he then proceeded to give him a rectal exam hilarious!  but then i thought  he probably didnt use lube... or a glove... ewwwwww aigo, yet another reason to avoid the psych ward |
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